Dad jokes are one of life’s greatest comforts. No matter how old you are, there’s something amusing and endearing about these corny puns and one-liners. Whether you’re a dad looking to entertain your children or a child looking to get a laugh out of your dad, this list of 148 hilarious dad jokes is sure to make everyone smile. From puns about food to classic knock-knock jokes, these classic dad jokes are sure to bring the entire family together in laughter. So go ahead, find the perfect dad joke to get the party started!
1. Why was the math book unhappy? It had too many problems.
2. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
3. Why was the calendar popular? It had a lot of dates.
4. Why was the cat sitting on the computer? It wanted to keep an eye on the mouse.
5. Why was the broom late? It swept in.
6. Why was the bicycle tired when it got home? Because it was two-tired.
7. Why was the bird kicked out of the restaurant? For feathering its nest.
8. Why was the blanket cold? It left its blanket behind.
9. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
10. Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing.
11. Why was the broom tired? It swept all day.
12. Why was the calendar popular? It had a lot of dates.
13. Why was the cat sitting on the computer? It wanted to keep an eye on the mouse.
14. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
15. Why was the math book unhappy? It had too many problems.
16. Why was the bicycle tired when it got home? Because it was two-tired.
17. Why was the bird kicked out of the restaurant? For feathering its nest.
18. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
20. Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing.
21. Why was the pencil sharpener unhappy? Because it was feeling pointed.
22. Why was the jellybean sad? Because it was feeling jelly.
23. Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because it was a fungi to be with.
24. Why was the calendar popular? It had a lot of dates.
25. Why was the cat sitting on the computer? It wanted to keep an eye on the mouse.
26. Why was the sunflower sad? Because it was feeling sunflower-y.
27. Why was the cookie sad? Because it was feeling crumbly.
28. Why was the toothbrush angry? Because it was feeling bristled.
29. Why was the baseball player unhappy? Because he was in a slump.
30. Why was the turtle feeling depressed? Because it was shell-shocked.
31. Why was the cookie feeling crumbly? Because it was feeling crumb-y.
32. Why was the broom late? It swept in.
Here are More Dad Jokes:
33. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
34. What do you get when you cross an elephant and a kangaroo? Big holes all over Australia.
35. What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? A woolly jumper.
36. What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A python.
37. What do you get when you cross a bee and a detective? A bee-tective.
38. What do you get when you cross a duck and a skunk? A stinky quacker.
39. What do you get when you cross a bear and a skunk? Winnie the Poo.
40. What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman? Frostbite.
41. What do you get when you cross a cat and a bag of chips? Kitty Litter.
42. What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator? A counting bark.
43. What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a dog? A tall woofer.
44. What do you get when you cross a sheep and a chicken? A woolly coop.
45. What do you get when you cross a bear and a shark? A hair-raising experience.
46. What do you get when you cross a goose and a skunk? A smelly honker.
47. What do you get when you cross a snail and a snake? A slowpoke.
48. What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a cake? A bunny bake.
49. What do you get when you cross a camel and a pancake? A flap-jack.
50. What do you get when you cross a frog and a salad? Leap greens.
51. What do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a baker? A dino-sourdough.
52. What do you get when you cross a cat and a cherry pie? Purr-in-the-sky.
Here are More Dad Jokes:
53. I have a joke about a pencil. Never mind, it's too sharp.
54. I have a joke about butter, but I’m not going to spread it.
55. I have a joke about a broken pencil. Never mind, it's pointless.
56. I have a joke about a cheese grater. Never mind, it's too gruyere-y.
57. I have a joke about pizza, but it’s too cheesy.
58. I had a joke about canned juice, but I couldn't concentrate.
59. I have a joke about a snowman. Never mind, it's too frosty.
60. I have a joke about a roof, but it would just go over your head.
61. I have a joke about a banana. Never mind, it's too mushy.
62. I have a joke about paper, but it’s tearable.
63. I have a joke about the flu, but I hope you don’t get it.
64. I have a joke about chemistry, but I don’t think it’ll get a reaction.
65. I have a joke about banking, but I lost interest.
67. I have a joke about a book. Never mind, it's too novel.
68. I have a joke about cows, but I don't want to milk it.
69. I have a joke about a tomato. Never mind, it's too ripe.
70. I have a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
71. I have a joke about kites, but it would just sail over your head.
72. I have a joke about a balloon. Never mind, it's too inflated.
73. I have a joke about fossils, but you probably won't dig it.
74. I have a joke about a cookie. Never mind, it's too crumbly.
75. I have a few jokes about retired people, but none of them work.
76. I have a joke about a sheep. Never mind, it's too baa-d.
Here are Funny Knock Knock Dad Jokes:
77. Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the no-bell prize.
78. Knock, knock. Who there? Butter. Butter who? Butter let me in or I’ll freeze!
79. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Figs. Figs who? Figs the doorbell, I’ve been knocking forever!
80. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cash. Cash who? No thanks, but I’ll take a peanut if you have one!
81. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream if you don’t let me in!
82. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive next door, hello neighbor!
83. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candice. Candice who? Candice joke be any worse?
84. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tennis. Tennis who? Tennis five plus five.
85. Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!
86. Knock, knock. Who's there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it's cold out here!
87. Knock, knock. Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes the police, open up!
88. Knock, knock. Who's there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little love, can't you see?
89. Knock, knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No, cows go moo.
90. Knock, knock. Who's there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and answer the door!
91. Knock, knock. Who's there? Nobel. Nobel who? No bell, that's why I knocked!
92. Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to answer the door or what?
93. Knock, knock. Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Luke through the peephole and find out!
94. Knock, knock. Who's there? Amish. Amish who? Amish your business?
95. Knock, knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Dwayne who? Dwayne the bathtub, I'm drowning!
96. Knock, knock. Who's there? Etch. Etch who? Bless you!
97. Knock, knock. Who's there? Opportunity. Opportunity who? Opportunity doesn't knock twice!
98. Knock, knock. Who's there? Gorilla. Gorilla who? Gorilla me a hamburger!
99. Knock, knock. Who's there? Dewey. Dewey who? Dewey have to knock on this door forever?
100. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben waiting for you to open this door!
101. Knock, knock. Who's there? Aardvark. Aardvark who? Aardvark a hundred miles for one of your smiles.
Here are More Dad Jokes:
102. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
103. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
104. I'm terrible at math, but I hear that calculus is derivative of algebra.
105. I'm not sure how to tell time in the future. Do I just watch the clock tick?
106. My dad told me to invest in stocks, but I'm not sure. I'm a little chicken.
107. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
108. I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
109. I tried to start a hot air balloon company, but I couldn't get it off the ground.
110. I was going to tell a chemistry joke, but I didn't know how to make it a solution.
111. What time is it when the clock strikes thirteen? Time to buy a new clock.
112. What did one toilet say to the other? You look a bit flushed.
113. What do you call two guys hanging on a window? Kurt and Rod.
114. Elevators must feel sick all the time. They're always coming down with something.
115. What has two legs but can't walk? A pair of pants.
116. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boggies in it.
117. What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel.
118. Why are you eating your homework? My teacher said it would be a piece of cake.
119. Why did the girl cross to the other side of the playground? To get to the other slide.
120. What do you call the kind of all school supplies? The ruler.
122. What is a bubble's favorite thing to do at school.? Take pop quizzes.
123. Where did the ice cream truck driver go to school? Sundae school.
124. What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop.
125. What does bread wear to bed? Jammies.
126. I heard a bad joke about food. It was hard to digest.
127. How can you tell if a vampire has a cold? See if he starts coffin.
128. How do you follow Will Smith in the snow? You follow the fresh prints.
129. How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side.
130. Do you want to hear two short jokes and a long joke? Joke! Joke! Jooooooooooooooooke.
131. What kind of drink is bittersweet? Reali-tea
132. Did you ever notice ants don’t get sick? They’re full of anti-bodies.
133. What do you call someone with no nose and no body? Nobody knows.
134. What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh.
135. Why are elevator jokes so good? They work on many levels.
136. What’s the easiest way to burn 1,000 calories? Leave the pizza in the oven.
137. To the person who stole my glasses: I will find you. I have contacts.
138. What do you call bees that produce milk instead of honey? Boo-Bees
139. My wife turned to me and said, What starts with F and ends with K? and I said, No it doesn't.
140. Kid: I’m hungry. Dad: Hi Hungry, I’m Dad.
141. What breed of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper? Any breed of dog. Skyscrapers can’t jump.
142. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
143. What does a house always wear to a party? Address.
144. When does a joke become a Dad joke? When the punch line becomes apparent.
145. What do you get when you coddle a cow? Spoiled milk.
146. What happens when doctors get frustrated? They lose their patients.
147. How do celebrities keep cool? They have many fans.
148. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
