The Best Funny and Clean Jokes for Kids! 🤣
Welcome to our hilarious collection of funny jokes for kids! Laughter is truly the best medicine, and what better way to bring joy and entertainment to your little ones than with a treasure trove of laugh-out-loud jokes? Whether you're in need of some family-friendly entertainment for a road trip, a giggly moment before bedtime, or simply a way to brighten up your child's day, we've got you covered. Get ready to unleash the giggles and create unforgettable memories with our collection of over 315 funny jokes specially curated for kids. Brace yourselves for an abundance of laughter and endless fun!
Scroll down for silly jokes, school jokes, corny jokes, dad jokes, and more! Bookmark this page and keep coming back whenever you need a laugh.
🤣 Here is a huge list of funny jokes for kids:
1. What is an alligator's favorite sports drink? GatorAde!
2. Why did the whale get dressed in his best clothes? He was going to the Orca-stra.
3. What was the Monster's favorite type of cheese? Monsterella!
4. What did the dad potato name his son? Chip.
5. Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.
6. Why was the glow worm looking sad? His kids weren't very bright!
7. What should you give a pig who has a rash? Some oinkment!
8. Why didn't the bear wear shoes to school? He liked to have bear feet!
9. What did the judge wear to work? A lawsuit!
10. What do you call a pig that can do kung fu? A pork chop!
11. What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!
12. What does the ocean do when it sees it friends? It waves!
13. What did the science book say to the math book? wow, you've got problems!
14. What is the easiest way to count 245 cows? Use a cowculator!
15. What did one toilet tell to the other toilet? You look a bit flushed!
16. What do you give a sick lemon? A lemon Aid.
17. What did the beach say to the tide when it came in? Long time, no sea!
18. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze.
19. What did the left eye tell to the right eye? Between us something smells.
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20. What do you call a boomerang that won't come back? A stick.
21. Why did the elephant decide to leave the circus? He was sick and tired of working for peanuts!
22. What kind of fish did King Arthur eat every Saturday night? Swordfish!
23. Where do sheep like to go for vacations? The baaaahamas!
24. Why was the broom late for work at the factory? He overswept!
25. Where do football players dance? At a foot ball!
26. What did the hamburger name its baby? Patty!
27. What do you call cheese that belongs to someone else? Nacho Cheese.
28. What is your cat's favorite color? Purr-ple!
29. What do you call a witch at the beach? A SandWich!
30. What can you catch but not throw? A Cold!
31. What did the nose say to the finger? Stop picking on me!
32. What do you call a fish that won't share? SHELL-fish.
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33. What do witches study in school? Spelling!
34. What has four eyes but can't see? Mississippi.
35. What kind of band can't play music? A rubber band.
36. What is the cleanest state? Wash-ington.
37. How did the zookeeper calm down the wild elephant? With a trunk-quilizer.
38. Why did the clock go on vacation? It needed to unwind!
39. What is a sailor's favorite snack? Ships and Salsa.
40. Where does a sailor go when he's sick? To the dock!
41. What kind of train needs a tissue? A-choo-choo train!
42. Where do elephants keep their spare tires? In their trunks!
43. How did the lettuce win the race? It got a head start!
44. How do you get an astronaut's baby to sleep? You rocket!
45. What's a tornado's favorite game? Twister!
46. What is an astronaut's favorite drink? Gravi-tea.
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47. Where does a dog leave its car? In the barking lot.
48. Where is rabbit's favorite place to eat? IHOP.
49. What did the cloud wear underneath his raincoat? Thunderpants!
50. What do elves love learning the most at school? The elf-abet!
51. If a freezing cold dog sits on a bunny, what is it? A chili dog on a bun!
52. What is the Monster's favorite type of cheese? Monsterella!
53. What did one coin say to the other coin? Together, we make cents!
54. What kind of sandwich did the shark order for his lunch? Peanut butter and jellyfish!
55. What did the crab take when it was sick? Vitamin Sea!
56. What did the lawyer say as the skunk walked into the courtroom? Odor in the court!
57. What do you call an alligator that robbed the bank? A crookodile!
58. Why did the photo end up in jail? It was framed!
59. What has a head and a tail, but no body? A penny.
60. What do you feed a teddy bear? Stuffing!
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61. What kind of homework do you do in a cab? Vocabulary.
62. Why can't you ever trust an atom? They make up everything!
63. How do frogs get the ice off their car windows? They use the defrogger.
64. Why did the tree need to take a nap? It was bushed.
65. Where does a volcano wash its hands? In the lava-tory.
66. What is a cow's favorite painting? The Moona Lisa
67. What is soda's favorite subject in school? Fizzics.
68. What is the worst day of the week for a fish? Fryday!
69. What do you call a strawberry who is sad? A blueberry!
70. Why was the potato chip mad at the pretzel? Because it was insalting him.
71. Why did the bee need to take allergy medicine? It had lots of hives.
72. What time is the best time to see the dentist? At tooth-thirty.
73. Why did the bathtub need a vacation? Because it was drained.
74. What is a whale's motto? "Seas the Day".
75. Why did the chicken go to bed? It was eggs-hausted.
76. Why are omelets so out of shape? They don't get enough eggs-ercise.
77. Why didn't the cow have any money? The farmer had milked it for all its worth!
78. What kind of shoes do bakers wear? Loaf-ers
79. What do you get when you combine a monster and a genius? Frank-Einstein.
80. What kind of photographs do dentists take? Tooth pics.
81. What did the orange say when it was stepped on! You hurt my peelings!
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82. What do monsters sing at the ball game? The national phantom.
83. What do you get from grumpy cows? Sour milk!
84. Why can't you win a race with a rope? It will always end with a tie.
85. Why don't you want to fight with a snail? It might try to slug you.
86. Where does a shark go on Saturday nights? To the dive-in movies.
87. Why don't math books last very long? Because their days are numbered.
88. Why did the chocolate chip cookie go to see the doctor? He felt crummy.
89. What kind of buttons does everyone wear? Belly Buttons.
90. What is the cleanest state? Wash-ington.
91. Why did the boy put pieces of candy under his pillow? So he could have sweet dreams.
92. What is the worst type of jam in the world? A traffic jam!
93. What did the lawyer say to the dentist? Make sure you tell the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.
94. Why did the girl take her ruler to bed? To see how long she slept!
95. Why did the secret agent stay in bed all day? Because he was under cover!
96. What did one tomato say to the other tomato in the tomato race? Ketchup!
97. Why don't teddy bears eat much for lunch? They are always stuffed!
98. Why are computers tired when they get home from work? They had a hard drive!
99. Why was the cucumber so embarrassed? She saw the salad dressing!
100. What did the lawyer name her daughter? Sue!
101. Which state has really small cans of soft drinks? Mini Soda.
102. Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
103. Why did the scientist get rid of his doorbell? So he could win the no-bell prize!
104. Where did the pencil go for his vacation? Pencil Vania.
105. What do nuts say when they catch a cold? Cashew!
106. How did the cook fix the broken vegetable? He used tomato paste.
107. Where do turtles stop to get a snack? The Shell Station!
108. What do you call a cow in a washing machine? A milkshake!
109. What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing? Its shadow!
110. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
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111. Why are frogs so happy? Because they eat whatever bugs them!
112. Who earns a living driving their customers away? An uber driver!
113. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!
114. What did the teeth say to the gums? The dentist is taking us out tonight!
115. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
116. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An Investi-gator!
117. What did the pencil say to the other pencil? You're looking sharp!
118. Why did the raspberry call 911? She was in a jam!
119. Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrr.
120. How do you make an Octopus laugh? With ten-tickles.
121. What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell Phones!
122. What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it? Post Office.
123. What did the little mountain say to the big mountain? Hi Cliff!
124. What kind of bugs like to sneak up on you? Spy-ders.
125. What do magicians like to eat for breakfast? Trix cereal.
126. What time is it when the clock strikes 13? Time to get a new clock.
127. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.
128. Why can’t Elsa from Frozen have a balloon? Because she will “let it go, let it go.”
129. What did the Dalmatian say after lunch? That hit the spot.
130. What’s one animal you’ll always find at a baseball game? A bat.
132. What is fast, loud and crunchy? A rocket chip.
133. What candy do bumblebees love the most? Bumble gum!
134. What goes up but never comes down? Your age.
135. Why does nobody talk to circles? Because there’s no point.
136. How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience.
137. What did the banana say to the elephant? Nothing. Bananas can't talk, silly!
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138. How do you know if your dog is slow? He chases parked cars.
139. Why do giraffes have long necks? Because they have smelly feet!
140. What goes "Ha ha ha hee hee hee ha ha ha hee hee, PLOP!" A kid laughing his head off!
142. Why do monkeys have big noses? Because they have big fingers!
143. Why did Jack bring a roll of toilet paper to the party? He was a party pooper!
144. When is a good time to see a dentist? Tooth hurty!
145. Which school supply is the king of the classrom? Ruler!
146. Why do babies play basketball very well? They dribble a lot and shoot when you least expect it.
147. What is black and white, black and white, black and white and red? Three skunks eating a tomato with bad manners!
148. Why do ghosts win so many team games? They have team spirit.
149. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school? Because her students were so bright.
150. What kind of photos will you find on a turtle’s phone? Shell-fies.
151. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick!
152. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef!
153. Why ghosts are bad liars? Because you can see right through them!
154. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go!
155. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they’d crack each other up!
156. What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. All other days are weekdays!
157. Why did the American Football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back!
158. How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying? You rocket!
159. What made the bacon laugh? The egg cracked a yolk!
160. What can go anywhere in the world without moving from its spot? A postage!
161. What’s yellow and looks like pineapple? A lemon with a new haircut!
162. Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle? Because he is always lion.
163. What kind of music is bad for balloons? Pop!
164. What time would it be if Godzilla came to school? Time to run!
165. Which letter of the alphabet has the most water? The “C”
166. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
167. How are baby teeth like stars? They came out at night!
168. How do you throw a party in space? You Planet!
169. What do you call a knight who hates to fight? Sir Render!
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170. Why are penguins socially awkward? Because they can’t break the ice.
171. What did Mrs. Claus tell Santa when she saw bad weather coming? Looks like reindeer!
172. What do you call an elf who is self-centered and doesn’t share? Elfish!
173. What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can’t tuna fish.
174. What did the police officer say to the belly button? You’re under a vest.
175. What did the big flower say to the little flower? “Hi, bud!”
176. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold, hard cash.
177. What did one snowman say to the other snowman? “Wanna chill?”
178. What did the slow tomato say to the others? Don’t worry, I’ll ketchup!
179. What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel!
180. Why do cows wear bells? Their horns don’t work!
181. Why can’t two waiters play tennis together? They both only want to serve!
182. What is it that you can always count on? Your fingers!
183. Why did the skeleton drink eight glasses of milk every day? Because milk is good for bones!
184. What is the richest kind of air? A millionaire.
185. Why did Jimmy scream when he saw his grades! Because he had a bee on his report card!
186. What kind of balls don’t bounce? Eyeballs!
187. What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you!
188. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
189. Why is it so windy inside a stadium? There are hundreds of fans!
190. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
191. What kind of mistake does a ghost make? A boo-boo!
192. Why did the window go to the hospital? It had panes!
193. What’s a fortune teller’s favorite type of tree? Palms!
194. Why was the computer feeling old? It was losing its memory!
195. What’s the best place to grow flowers in school? In Kindergarten!
196. Two pickles fell out of a jar. What did one say to the other? Dill with it!
197. When do you need Chapstick in the garden? When you’re planting tulips!
198. What is a zucchini’s favorite game? Squash!
199. What did one tube of glue say to the other? “Let’s stick together!”
200. What do sea monsters eat? Fish and Ships!
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201. Why does the dentist use a computer? Because it has Bluetooth!
202. How can you go surfing in the kitchen? On a micro-wave!
203. What do you call a funny mountain? Hill-arious.
204. What do you call someone who is afraid of picnics? A basket case!
205. What animal needs to wear a wig? A bald eagle!
206. Why can’t you trust zookeepers? Because they love cheetahs!
207. Where do hamburgers go dancing? A meatball.
208. Why do computers never fall asleep? They’re too wired!
209. Why did the egg get thrown out of class? Because he kept telling yolks!
210. What do you call a fish with four eyes? Fiiiish!
211. What did the flower say after it told a joke? I was just pollen your leg!
212. What kind of flowers are great friends? Rose buds!
213. Why couldn’t little Johnny go to the pirate movie? It was rated arrrgh!
214. Why were the Cheerios scared of the man? He was a cereal killer!
215. Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken’s foot!
216. What did Sam think about Velcro? What a rip-off!
217. Why can’t Cinderella play soccer? Because she’s always running away from the ball!
218. Where does Captain Hook go to get his hook replaced? A second-hand store!
219. Why couldn’t the monster go to sleep? It was afraid there will be kids under the bed!
220. How do you get a skeleton to laugh out loud? Tickle its funny bone!
221. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two tired!
222. Why can’t you ever tell a joke around the glass? It could crack up!
223. Which Disney princess would make the best judge? Snow White, because she’s the fairest of them all!
224. How did the fish know how much he weighed? He used his scales!
225. What did one candle say to the other? “Do you want to go out tonight?”
226. Why did the hot dog refuse to star in a movie? None of the roles (rolls) were good enough!
227. What is the smartest bird in the world? OWL-bert Einstein.
228. How much room should you give fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible.
229. What happens if you throw some butter out the window? You see a butterfly!
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230. Why did the pirate stop playing cards? He was sitting on the deck!
231. How did the French fry propose to the hamburger? He gave her an onion ring!
232. What does Minnie Mouse drive? A Minnie van!
233. Why are elevator jokes so classic and good? Because they work on many levels!
234. Why was the sewing machine so funny? It kept everyone in stiches!
235. Why do kids eat their boogers? Because they can’t eat their nose.
236. What do you call the story of the three little pigs? A pigtail.
237. What did the tree say to the flower? “I’m rooting for you.”
238. Why did the ice cream cone become a reporter? He wanted to get the scoop!
239. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
240. What kind of bear doesn’t have any teeth? A gummy bear!
241. Why did the cow become an astronaut? So it could walk on the moooo-n.
242. Why were the chickens so tired? They were working around the cluck!
243. Where do shrimp go if they need money? The prawn shop!
244. What did the cake say to the knife? “Do you want to a piece of me?”
245. What is the math teacher’s favorite dessert? Pi.
246. Why was the jelly so stressed out? It was spread too thin.
247. Where do dogs go if they lose their tails? The re-tail store!
248. What is as big as an elephant but weighs zero pounds? The elephant’s shadow!
249. How do chickens dance? Chick to chick!
250. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
251. Who can shave six times a day and still have a beard? A barber!
252. What's a cat's favorite type of Mexican food? Purritos.
253. What starts and ends with “e” but has only one letter in it? Envelope.
254. What can you catch but never throw? A cold!
255. When is a baseball player like a spider? When he catches a fly.
256. What is harder to catch the faster you run? Your breath!
257. Who keeps the ocean clean? The mermaid!
258. Why did the invisible man turn down a job offer? He just couldn’t see himself doing it!
259. How do you make a hot dog stand? Take away its chair!
260. Why did the credit card go to jail? It was guilty as charged!
261. What language does a billboard speak? Sign language!
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262. What did the one-dollar bill say to the ten-dollar bill? You don’t make any cents (sense)!
263. What did the elevator say to its friend? “I think I’m coming down with something!
264. What is the difference between boogers and broccoli? Kids won’t eat their broccoli.
265. Where do rabbits go after they get married? On a bunny-moon!
266. Where should a god never go shopping? A flea market!
267. What is a snake’s favorite subject? Hiss-tory!
268. What does a skeleton say before he eats? Bone Appetit!
269. Why is the burglar so sensitive? He takes things personally!
270. How do you cut the sea in half? With a sea saw!
271. What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account? PRIME-mates!
272. What is brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses? A coconut on vacation.
273. Which day do chickens hate the most? Fry-days!
274. Why did the turkey cross the road? Because it was the chicken’s holiday!
275. Why are teddy bears never hungry? They’re stuffed!
276. How do you count cows? With a cowculator.
277. Where does the male cow take the female cow for their first date? To the Mooo-vies!
278. Where do loud dogs hang out? The barking lot.
279. How do bees get to school? They take the school buzz!
280. Can February March? No, but April May!
281. How do fish stay healthy? They take vitamin sea.
282. What’s a cow’s favorite drink? A s-moooo-thie.
283. What did the frog order at McDonald’s? French flies and Diet Croak
284. How can you tell a vampire has a cold? He starts coffin.
285. What’s a Pokemon that sneezes a lot? Pik-Hachoo!
286. What’s more impressive than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
287. What’s the scariest plant? Bam-booo!
288. What room doesn’t have doors? A mushroom!
289. What do you call a shoe made of banana? A slipper!
290. Why are frogs so happy? They just eat whatever bugs them!
291. How do sea creatures communicate under water? With shell phones.
292. What do you get when sheep do karate? Lamb chops.
293. When do you ask hamburgers lots of questions? When you want to grill them.
294. What do you call a cow that’s afraid of everything? Cow-ard.
295. What does a frog say when he washes windows? “Rub it, rub it, rub it.”
296. How high can a bumblebee count? To a buzz-illion.
297. How does a skeleton say goodbye? “Bone-Voyage!”
298. What will a moose do if he calls when you’re not home? He’ll leave a moose-age!
299. Where do bunnies like to eat? IHOP!
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300. How do you keep a skunk from smelling? Hold its nose!
301. What do you get when you cross a bear with a skunk? Winnie the Pew!
302. What kind of sea creature is always depressed? A blue whale.
303. What is green and can sing? Elvis Parsley.
304. What did the tree say to the lumberjack? “Leaf me alone!”
305. Where do ants like to eat? At a restaur-ant.
306. What is a reptile’s favorite movie? The Lizard of Oz.
307. Why did the horse keep falling over? It just wasn’t stable.
308. Which creatures on Noah’s ark did not come in pairs? The worms – they came in apples.
309. What do you call a raccoon that crosses the road with his eyes shut? Roadkill!
310. Where should a 600-pound lion go? On a diet!
311. What is black, white, and wet all over? A zebra that was pushed into a swimming pool!
312. Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold? It’s always 90 degrees.
313. Did you hear about the famous pickle? He was a big dill!
314. What do you call a sad cup of coffee? Depresso
315. Did you hear about the ATM that got addicted to money? It suffered from withdrawals.
316. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
317. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
318. I wrote a paper about organ donors, and I sure put my heart into it.
Jokes are a form of communication that allows everyone involved to understand each other better and build a deeper connection. It can be a great way to connect with your kid when they are younger by explaining jokes to them and showing them how to tell one. As they get older, they can help out with telling jokes while you eat dinner or during family movie nights.
Jokes can also be an important part of a child’s social development. They can help kids feel at ease in social situations, and make them look cool in front of their friends.
Have a joke to add? Leave a comment with your kids’ favorite joke!
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